I scheduled my c section this morning.
This is real. This is happening. I'm having another baby. I will have three children. Another body to wash, clothe, and take care of. Another voice added to the chaos. Another little face to smother with kisses. Another little hand to hold.
The pre-baby To Do list has gotten smaller. E has been moved to a big girl bed. The crib is in our room. Our room has been dusted, vacuumed, and de-cluttered. W's room has been organized and has actually stayed clean for more than two days. The rest of the house is in pretty good shape and Seth has vacuumed the car, relieving me of some of my nesting anxiety.
Speaking of nesting: normally I don't give the dusty baseboards behind the bed a second thought but now that I'm pregnant, I found myself wedged between the side table and the wall desperately trying to vacuum under the bed. I actually got stuck for a minute and questioned my own sanity.
I also found myself dusting EVERY. SINGLE. one of the slats of the blinds in my bedroom. It was like an out of body experience; watching myself dust each slat and wondering if I was as bored as I felt.
The good news is that my husband is no longer sneezing when he's in our room and I feel less like I'm bringing my child into a potential death trap.
There's always a bright side.