while watching the PGA Championship
Me: did you just try to hit your sister with the remote control?
W: mmmm. I don't know.
Me: give to me.
W: but I want to fast forward! There are commercials and TALKING!
Me: little boys who hit their sisters with remote controls have to watch commercials.
during bedtime prayers...
E: thank you God for pickles
W: (whispering to Seth) pickles? When did you have pickles?
E: (whispering to W) you didn't finish your dinner.
Turn around to see E with a pair of scissors about to cut her hair
Me: NO! NO! NO! We DONOT cut our hair. Paper! We only cut paper!
E: but Ms. Monica uses scissors to cut hair.
Me: *deep breath* She went to school for that.
E: Mommy what are we having for dinner?
Me: probably something you won't like.
E: what is it? Tell me.
E: I don't like that!
Me: see? I told you.
Me: tomorrow we start swim class!
E: but I don't want to drain!
Me: drain? You don't want to what?
E: drain! you know DIE! in the pool!
Me: do you mean drown? You don't want to drown in the pool?
E: yes! drain!
I don't know about you but I'm thankful school started today.