first you cry...

   "Also, runners sometimes have to cancel marathons for other reasons, everything from illness to family or business situations. Often, the logical thing to do is shrug and rationalize: "There are more important things to life than racing 26 miles 385 yards. That's true, but that doesn't make the decision to postpone your marathon any easier. What do you do? First, you cry. Then you begin to consider your options." -Hal Higdon  

Such a wise man you are, Hal Higdon.

When Hal tells you can cry, you cry. When Hal tells you to stop crying, end the pity party, and move on - that's what you do. 

I'm 4 days into my "I had to DNS my first marathon and I'm still sad about it and I have another marathon scheduled in 8 weeks and I have NO idea what to do now" pity party.

Do I use Hal's 8 week multiple marathon schedule which is less mileage during the week? Or run the last 8 weeks of the tried and true Novice 1 schedule which includes heavy weekday and weekend mileage?

 I can't decide.

and I HAVE NO IDEA WHY.

It feels like a switch has been flipped.

Before this weekend, I was all in. I was tired but still motivated and excited to pursue this multiple marathon thing.  

and now? bleh.

My last couple of runs before the croup/sick kids/leaving the hotel in the middle of the night debacle were less then stellar. They were hard, slow, and made me want to cry. Now, of course, that 18 miler was run in 18 degree weather and my water bottles froze so I put them in between my shirt and my bra to defrost them which made me even colder and left me dehydrated. That was fun.  

I seem to go through this process about once a year; where I question this addiction I have to long distance running. 

I agonize, pout, and complain for a couple days and leave my running shoes untouched by the front door.

I concoct dramatic, emotional filled blog posts where I question EVERYTHING.  

Then I get over myself and go for a run. 

and suddenly everything is ok again.

Pittsburg, I'm coming for you... as soon as I figure out what training schedule I'm going to use.

previous post: my first DNS