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mother. marathoner. blogger. reader.

Wednesday, June 27, 2012

the one where I step on a scale

Recently, I found out how much I weigh. If you know me at all you know this is surprising. I do not own a scale. I am not tempted by other people's scales. I hate knowing how much I weigh. It's a guaranteed way to get me depressed. When I was pregnant, I would stand on the scale backwards so that I couldn't see the number. A nurse once commented to me, "Wow, I would have never thought you weighed that much." Um. Yeah. Thanks. Took me awhile to get back on a scale after that.

I've never had a weight problem, but like too many young girls, I spent my teenage years convinced I was fat. I struggled with insecurities and blamed my body. There was a brief period where I cut my food intake in half. That ended with a fainting spell and the realization that I was being ridiculous. I like food. I like eating (I've never met a cookie I didn't like), and most of all I like living. How can you live when your obsessed with how many calories you're putting in your body and then how many calories you're burning?

Trust me, I am not the poster child for mental health. There are days when I'm not happy with the way I look. Two babies later and things are not as pretty as they used to be. However, that's where running comes in. Physically, it has helped me lose baby weight. It has made my body strong enough to run for hours at a time. Mentally, it has made me see myself in a different light. How can I be ashamed of a body that has carried me across countless finish lines?

I don't weigh myself because, to me, it doesn't matter. What matters is how I feel, how many miles I've put in in a week, and if I need new pants because my old ones don't fit. Running forces me to push my insecurities aside and to be proud of myself and what I have accomplished. I don't need a scale to do that.

Besides muscle weight more then fat.    

1 comment:

  1. I don't ever weigh myself if I can help it. Now that I'm eating better and exercising, I am sometimes tempted, but we don't have a scale in our apartment and I don't go many places that have them either. In June, I went to the doctor and they weighed me. (I guess they have to just in case a prescription is in order.) When I lose weight (a goal I've only had a couple times in my life), it's the feeling of clothes getting baggier and being able to cross my legs more easily and doing more and push harder comfortably that rewards me. No one ever believes how heavy I am either - at least, they pretend not to. There really is something good about having natural muscle tone.

    All that to say, I'm with ya, sister!