it's hard being married to me.

Running has taught me a lot about myself. My strengths, my weaknesses; things about my personality that make me cringe. On Wednesday, I realized how selfish I am. Again.

My husband was 15 minutes late getting back from his run that morning. I sat on my porch steps, seething, sending laser eye beams up the driveway, willing him to hurry up and get home so that I could go for my run.

Wednesdays is the only day when we both need to run. During the school year, we coordinate our schedules so that there are no fights, arguments, or resentment about who gets to run when and for how long. But now school is out, he's teaching a summer class, and it's too hot to run during the day with the kids in the stroller. Bedlam.

I usually run first, getting up at 5 to run, then going back to bed until the kids get up. That morning, however, it made more sense for my husband to run first so that he could shower and eat breakfast before work. I agreed to this plan. It was rational and logical. However, at 6:30, I wasn't thinking rationally and logically when I was having a one sided fight with my husband in my mind.

It went something like this... "You said you would be back by 6:10!" "Why is your run more important then mine?" "I would never do this to you!"

When he popped out from behind the house, he immediately apologized. I ignored him and took off up the driveway. A 30 minute tempo run and hill repeats calmed me down but not enough to accept two more apologies.

The poor man. He sincerely apologized and all he got in return was a sweaty wife with an attitude.

*sigh*

By that afternoon when my eye laser beams has retracted and I had some time to think about what a nut I was being, I remembered that running is a gift; one that we both share. Sure it can make things difficult at times but if the alternative is both of us being unhealthy, miserable, and depressed; I'll take cutting my run short by a mile any day.

Don't worry I gave him an extra big kiss when he came home from work that day.